We all make commitments that we break. So It's important to look beyond your conscious mind and ask yourSelf, "Why have you broken them? What benefit is there for you NOT to keep your word? How do you justify breaking your word?"
Each day you have broken your word in some small way. How many times have you said I'd eat healthy, and then snuck a candy bar or cheeseburger? How many times have you said your be on time, and you were late?. How many times have you said you would obey all the traffic laws, and then sped? We have broken some of our commitments so often that our subconscious mind doesn't believe us any more.
If your subconscious mind doesn't believe you, then who does? Committing to something is important. As Yoda said, "Do or Do not do. There is no trying." Once you realize the pattern of breaking your word, you can shift it. You can start with creating your Absolute Daily Goal. (ADG) This is something that you absolutely know you can and will do. In other words it's easy to accomplish, even if it's 11:59pm and you just remembered the ADG.
If you want to get fit again, an Absolute Daily Goal might be to do 1 sit-up. Pretty much everyone can can do one sit-up. The thing about your subconscious mind, is that no matter how small the commitment, it recognizes that you kept it, or you didn't.
So to 're-program" you brain to work with you to keep commitments, just set your ADG each night for the next day. As you begin keeping these goals, you'll find it easier to keep the bigger ones too. Good luck on your goals!
You can find out more on this and the rest of ways to get unstuck, in my book Get Unstuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life.
Wishing you days filled with wonders!
John Seeley
Best-selling Author ~ Radio Host ~Speaker ~Life Coach
949 645-5100
www.getunstuck.com
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Friday, December 26, 2008
7 things to keep you from falling into the Holiday Blues
Seven things to keep you from falling into the Holiday Blues
Each holiday season there is an expectation from people to reconnect with friends and loved ones. But what if your family is far away, or you don’t have people to reconnect with? Being alone during the holidays is often something that people don’t prepare for and find themselves depressed, and in the extreme, suicidal. It’s important to prepare in advance to keep the blues away. If you know that you’ll be alone, there are things to do to make the holidays merry.
Plan a group activity to invite others to do, so you will have others to share time with during the holidays. Perhaps a support group for others that are alone too!
Volunteer doing something for helping others. There is a lot of need to help less fortunate during the holidays, including delivering food to shut-ins, soup kitchens, helping at hospitals to cheer up patients, etc. Giving is a great way to feel better about yourself, and you meet others who are volunteering, and make new friends who are giving too.
Plan a trip or vacation for the holidays. Group trips doing something that you enjoy, like scuba diving, antiques, cruising, etc., are available through travel agents or on the web.
Get more active in a church or local community. Often holidays are a great time to reconnect to a community. There often are holiday events like plays, singing, charity parties or auctions, etc. sponsored by churches or communities.
See a professional therapist to help you to work through any issues that may be keeping you from experiencing the happiness you desire. Often your feelings that you repress all year come up during times when extra stress come up, often during the holidays. So do yourself a favor, seek some professional help to release the emotional baggage you’ve been carrying. Your whole life will improve.
Talk to people. Talk to your family. Talk to your friends. Do it regularly. Look up old friends. Heal old relationships. It’s good for your heart and soul to do that, anytime, but especially around the holidays. Remember they might need to heal that issue too. You don’t have guarantees that friendships will be rekindled, or relationships healed, but you never know how it might affect your life positively either. Holidays are a time to heal. Take advantage of that.
Remember that regrets are usually from things you didn’t do. Use the holidays to create something different in your life. Einstein said “To continue doing the same thing, expecting different results, is insanity.” If you want different results, do something different. Believe that you can change your life. Believe it can be better. Know miracles happen. If you believe in a higher power, pray for the change you want. Be willing to give up what you have now, and know it will be better. Remember, in order to become a butterfly, you have to give up being a caterpillar. ~ John Seeley M.A. Best-selling Author of Get Unstuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life www.getunstuck.com
Each holiday season there is an expectation from people to reconnect with friends and loved ones. But what if your family is far away, or you don’t have people to reconnect with? Being alone during the holidays is often something that people don’t prepare for and find themselves depressed, and in the extreme, suicidal. It’s important to prepare in advance to keep the blues away. If you know that you’ll be alone, there are things to do to make the holidays merry.
Plan a group activity to invite others to do, so you will have others to share time with during the holidays. Perhaps a support group for others that are alone too!
Volunteer doing something for helping others. There is a lot of need to help less fortunate during the holidays, including delivering food to shut-ins, soup kitchens, helping at hospitals to cheer up patients, etc. Giving is a great way to feel better about yourself, and you meet others who are volunteering, and make new friends who are giving too.
Plan a trip or vacation for the holidays. Group trips doing something that you enjoy, like scuba diving, antiques, cruising, etc., are available through travel agents or on the web.
Get more active in a church or local community. Often holidays are a great time to reconnect to a community. There often are holiday events like plays, singing, charity parties or auctions, etc. sponsored by churches or communities.
See a professional therapist to help you to work through any issues that may be keeping you from experiencing the happiness you desire. Often your feelings that you repress all year come up during times when extra stress come up, often during the holidays. So do yourself a favor, seek some professional help to release the emotional baggage you’ve been carrying. Your whole life will improve.
Talk to people. Talk to your family. Talk to your friends. Do it regularly. Look up old friends. Heal old relationships. It’s good for your heart and soul to do that, anytime, but especially around the holidays. Remember they might need to heal that issue too. You don’t have guarantees that friendships will be rekindled, or relationships healed, but you never know how it might affect your life positively either. Holidays are a time to heal. Take advantage of that.
Remember that regrets are usually from things you didn’t do. Use the holidays to create something different in your life. Einstein said “To continue doing the same thing, expecting different results, is insanity.” If you want different results, do something different. Believe that you can change your life. Believe it can be better. Know miracles happen. If you believe in a higher power, pray for the change you want. Be willing to give up what you have now, and know it will be better. Remember, in order to become a butterfly, you have to give up being a caterpillar. ~ John Seeley M.A. Best-selling Author of Get Unstuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life www.getunstuck.com
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Finding Your Dreams by Leaving Your Comfort Zone
Finding Your Dreams by Leaving Your Comfort Zone by John Seeley M.A., Life Coach
What do you desire that you don’t have now? A new job? A new Relationship? A new home? Make a list of all the things you want in every category you can think of. Everything you desire that you don’t have, is outside of your comfort zone. Do you want to release some weight or be in better shape? If you do, then you just got your answer on how to find everything else on your list. Einstein said, “To continue doing the same thing expecting different results is insanity.” The implication is if you want different results you have to do something different.
That where most people stop. They either feel that they can’t change, or they come up with reasons not to change. Either way nothing new happens. Change is scary for many people. Men might not admit it but it scares them too. Change usually represents the unknown. Fear of the unknown is a big cause of stuckness.If we can recognize the fear and push through it, we usually find that whatever we were afraid of isn’t as bad as we thought. Sometimes it’s not only pleasant but down right exciting!
Change happens instantly. Deciding to change usually takes time, sometimes years. The easiest way to change is the baby step process. Set your goal, but then break it down to very small, and very doable tasks. Begin by choosing something you can definitely complete today. It could be as easy as looking up a phone number. You don’t even have to place the call. Just look up the number. You may find that you will place the call, but the goal was only to look up the number. When you complete your small goal, you are retraining your sub-conscious mind to work with you. Since the majority of our lives are run by our sub-conscious mind, it’s best to get it to align itself with our conscious mind.
Sometimes we don’t want to choose for fear we might make a mistake. Not choosing is a choice. It’s another way we stay stuck. Procrastination is putting off the inevitable which usually makes it worse. Why not empower yourself by taking the time to evaluate your choices, choose the best one, and take action. If it’s something that involves something unpleasant, why not get it out of the way, which allows the healing to begin to take place.
Sometimes it helps if you have support while going though your changes. So build a support team. Find people that will be supportive of the changes you want to make. Often times the people closest to you are actually the ones that oppose you changing. So be careful who you choose. A professional has your best interest at heart. Whether a coach, a trainer, a therapist or a friend or family member, be sure they know how you want to be supported. We each like support in our own way. Once you have a plan and a support system in place, dip your toe in the water outside your comfort zone and see what you find. Chances are you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
In his new book "Get UnStuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life" John Seeley offers powerful, yet simple, techniques that are able to move you past any rut you may be stuck in. This is certainly a self-help book for any obstacle, in any facet of your life. Bonus gifts with purchase today, including one from me! :-) All the info here:Get UnStuck!
What do you desire that you don’t have now? A new job? A new Relationship? A new home? Make a list of all the things you want in every category you can think of. Everything you desire that you don’t have, is outside of your comfort zone. Do you want to release some weight or be in better shape? If you do, then you just got your answer on how to find everything else on your list. Einstein said, “To continue doing the same thing expecting different results is insanity.” The implication is if you want different results you have to do something different.
That where most people stop. They either feel that they can’t change, or they come up with reasons not to change. Either way nothing new happens. Change is scary for many people. Men might not admit it but it scares them too. Change usually represents the unknown. Fear of the unknown is a big cause of stuckness.If we can recognize the fear and push through it, we usually find that whatever we were afraid of isn’t as bad as we thought. Sometimes it’s not only pleasant but down right exciting!
Change happens instantly. Deciding to change usually takes time, sometimes years. The easiest way to change is the baby step process. Set your goal, but then break it down to very small, and very doable tasks. Begin by choosing something you can definitely complete today. It could be as easy as looking up a phone number. You don’t even have to place the call. Just look up the number. You may find that you will place the call, but the goal was only to look up the number. When you complete your small goal, you are retraining your sub-conscious mind to work with you. Since the majority of our lives are run by our sub-conscious mind, it’s best to get it to align itself with our conscious mind.
Sometimes we don’t want to choose for fear we might make a mistake. Not choosing is a choice. It’s another way we stay stuck. Procrastination is putting off the inevitable which usually makes it worse. Why not empower yourself by taking the time to evaluate your choices, choose the best one, and take action. If it’s something that involves something unpleasant, why not get it out of the way, which allows the healing to begin to take place.
Sometimes it helps if you have support while going though your changes. So build a support team. Find people that will be supportive of the changes you want to make. Often times the people closest to you are actually the ones that oppose you changing. So be careful who you choose. A professional has your best interest at heart. Whether a coach, a trainer, a therapist or a friend or family member, be sure they know how you want to be supported. We each like support in our own way. Once you have a plan and a support system in place, dip your toe in the water outside your comfort zone and see what you find. Chances are you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
In his new book "Get UnStuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life" John Seeley offers powerful, yet simple, techniques that are able to move you past any rut you may be stuck in. This is certainly a self-help book for any obstacle, in any facet of your life. Bonus gifts with purchase today, including one from me! :-) All the info here:Get UnStuck!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Life Coaching from the Get Unstuck book, endorsed by Deepak Chopra
Changing Your Life
“To continue doing the same thing and expecting different results is insanity.” –Albert Einstein
Change happens instantly! Deciding to change usually takes some time—sometimes years. When your life isn’t going the way you want or expect, it’s time to change. People change all the time; sometimes it’s for the better, sometimes not. Occasionally we resist change because what we have now is familiar and comfortable. It may not be exactly what you want, but it’s not the worst thing in the world. Sometimes you want to change, but you don’t know how. Sometimes you just feel stuck in a rut. When you reach a place of frustration and hopelessness regarding a problem, that’s the time to reach out for help. Perhaps you just need reinforcement. Asking for help for some people represents failure.
Do you tell yourself, “I couldn’t do it on my own, so I’m a failure?” On the other hand, maybe you say, “If I have to ask for help, there must be something wrong with me.”
The truth is, asking for help is many times the best thing you can do. The problem is, sometimes you might feel like you don’t deserve help or, worse yet, there is no chance of helping you. That’s when you have to reach out. There’s always help, and sometimes you’re just too close to the picture to see it. Sometimes you “think” you can see your situation accurately, and you conclude there’s no way you can be helped, but your conclusion is wrong. No matter what, there’s help!
One of the keys to understanding, is knowing you matter. As long as you believe you matter, you will find a way out. I’m speaking from experience in this area. I’ve been diagnosed as clinically depressed. I wasn’t locked up in a “loony bin,” but I needed professional help. My story is like many other people. In my case, it started with what I call my “worst year.” I was fired twice in six months. That was quite a shock to me. I had never been fired before, much less twice! I didn’t know that in the restaurant field, there is a lot of turnover as part of the normal business cycle. I could have taken this as a signal that maybe I should look at another career. I wish I had! Instead, I read my firings as a message that I must not be “good enough.”
I did not expect what came next. My best friend committed suicide, and I was the one who found him. This really tipped my world upside down. Shortly thereafter, my dog died. What more could happen? I became so depressed that I was very defensive with the people around me. I was angry and frustrated. I felt helpless. Worse, I didn’t know why all this was happening. I lashed out verbally when I felt I was being attacked, even when no one was attacking me. Because of this, I lost my fiancé. I took another job in the hope of saving the relationship, not to mention to help my self-esteem. Again, due to my defensiveness, I lost that job too. This was another validation that I was a “loser.” Years later, I was still in denial about the reality of the situation. In fact, I used to ... to read more click here:http://www.getunstuck.com/
“To continue doing the same thing and expecting different results is insanity.” –Albert Einstein
Change happens instantly! Deciding to change usually takes some time—sometimes years. When your life isn’t going the way you want or expect, it’s time to change. People change all the time; sometimes it’s for the better, sometimes not. Occasionally we resist change because what we have now is familiar and comfortable. It may not be exactly what you want, but it’s not the worst thing in the world. Sometimes you want to change, but you don’t know how. Sometimes you just feel stuck in a rut. When you reach a place of frustration and hopelessness regarding a problem, that’s the time to reach out for help. Perhaps you just need reinforcement. Asking for help for some people represents failure.
Do you tell yourself, “I couldn’t do it on my own, so I’m a failure?” On the other hand, maybe you say, “If I have to ask for help, there must be something wrong with me.”
The truth is, asking for help is many times the best thing you can do. The problem is, sometimes you might feel like you don’t deserve help or, worse yet, there is no chance of helping you. That’s when you have to reach out. There’s always help, and sometimes you’re just too close to the picture to see it. Sometimes you “think” you can see your situation accurately, and you conclude there’s no way you can be helped, but your conclusion is wrong. No matter what, there’s help!
One of the keys to understanding, is knowing you matter. As long as you believe you matter, you will find a way out. I’m speaking from experience in this area. I’ve been diagnosed as clinically depressed. I wasn’t locked up in a “loony bin,” but I needed professional help. My story is like many other people. In my case, it started with what I call my “worst year.” I was fired twice in six months. That was quite a shock to me. I had never been fired before, much less twice! I didn’t know that in the restaurant field, there is a lot of turnover as part of the normal business cycle. I could have taken this as a signal that maybe I should look at another career. I wish I had! Instead, I read my firings as a message that I must not be “good enough.”
I did not expect what came next. My best friend committed suicide, and I was the one who found him. This really tipped my world upside down. Shortly thereafter, my dog died. What more could happen? I became so depressed that I was very defensive with the people around me. I was angry and frustrated. I felt helpless. Worse, I didn’t know why all this was happening. I lashed out verbally when I felt I was being attacked, even when no one was attacking me. Because of this, I lost my fiancé. I took another job in the hope of saving the relationship, not to mention to help my self-esteem. Again, due to my defensiveness, I lost that job too. This was another validation that I was a “loser.” Years later, I was still in denial about the reality of the situation. In fact, I used to ... to read more click here:http://www.getunstuck.com/
Friday, November 24, 2006
Thanks and Giving
Holiday season is a time for giving and sharing with our family and friends. We also have the chance to give back to others. For some of us we have much to be grateful for. For others, life has not been exactly what we might have wanted. We all need help to get through life, and when we have the option to give back, we get an extra benefit that I call “Givers Gain.” It means that when you give, you get back even more. It’s a universal law. Have you ever experienced the feeling of goodwill? It is the same feeling you get when you see a child smile, a puppy wag, or a kitten purr. It just makes you feel good. Giver’s Gain is even more than that.
This is an opportunity to get that feeling. A lot of people need your help. I’ve done workshops in prison for the past few years, and I have seen the results of that feeling. Each time I go there, I feel there but for the grace of God, go I. We’ve all made mistakes. What we all needed was another chance. That’s what I want for the inmates of Valley State Prison for Women. It’s the largest women’s prison in the world. I’ve seen lives transformed there. What is needed is information and tools to change. That’s why I am doing a documentary of the process of rehabilitation in today’s prisons. We need to get the word out to bring the awareness of how we can change the world, not only for the inmates, but for the world at large.
We are all affected by the prison system. We all pay taxes to build prisons, and maintain the more than 2 million people currently incarcerated in the United States. That’s more than any other country. Just about every one I talk to knows someone that either is currently, was, or will be in the prison system. What got everyone into the system, is the same thing. They all made a bad choice.
Einstein said, “You can’t fix a problem with the same mind that created it.” So if you want to change minds, you need to give the understanding and tools to allow them to change. That is why I have done my Get Unstuck! workshop at the Valley State Prison for Women in Chowchilla, California. (The largest women’s prison in the world) The response was wonderful. The last workshop had 150 attendees. Here are some of the comments I received after the workshop:
“I feel that this has tons to offer. It helped me with self-awareness, and gave me insight into the “why” of some of my behaviors, as well as providing tools to change some of the negative ones.”
“What I got out of Get Unstuck! is change starts with me. If I change myself, I change the world.”
“I came to understand that I have a choice whether or not I allow someone else’s negative behavior, dictate my behavior.”
“Thank you for helping me out of my rut.”
I have seen the transformative power of this information. I am currently working on producing a documentary to show the need for more rehabilitation for inmates, and how this information can help change the system. This is a costly undertaking and that is why I created the “Adopt an Inmate” program.
I’m asking each person that receives this letter to join in this mission. My goal is to get each inmate a copy of the book Get Unstuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life. To this end, I’m asking every person that reads this to invest a minimum of $25 and send an inmate their own copy of the book. In addition, you will also receive your own copy. And as a special thank you, I will also include a free 1 hour coaching session for each pledge. If you already have a copy, you may designate both copies be sent to the prison.
If you wish, you may include a message to the inmate that will be inscribed in the book! Just e-mail me what message you want to include.
You may pledge more and for each $25 another 2 books will be sent. You may choose a specific inmate of any prison that you wish, and it will be sent to them. Please specify the name and address of each inmate you wish to receive the book. Please know that as one inmate stated, “Everyone in the prison needs this information.” We are all connected, and when we help the least in the world, we help ourselves! Be generous. Help to change the lives of the forgotten, and watch the world change. A portion of the proceeds will be to produce the documentary.
Whether you can or can't personally afford to help, please pass this on to others that can. Offer others the chance to give.
Thank you for helping to change the world.
To make your pledge, just click on the link below. All major credit cards are welcome.
http://www.getunstuck.com/adoptaninmate.html
This is an opportunity to get that feeling. A lot of people need your help. I’ve done workshops in prison for the past few years, and I have seen the results of that feeling. Each time I go there, I feel there but for the grace of God, go I. We’ve all made mistakes. What we all needed was another chance. That’s what I want for the inmates of Valley State Prison for Women. It’s the largest women’s prison in the world. I’ve seen lives transformed there. What is needed is information and tools to change. That’s why I am doing a documentary of the process of rehabilitation in today’s prisons. We need to get the word out to bring the awareness of how we can change the world, not only for the inmates, but for the world at large.
We are all affected by the prison system. We all pay taxes to build prisons, and maintain the more than 2 million people currently incarcerated in the United States. That’s more than any other country. Just about every one I talk to knows someone that either is currently, was, or will be in the prison system. What got everyone into the system, is the same thing. They all made a bad choice.
Einstein said, “You can’t fix a problem with the same mind that created it.” So if you want to change minds, you need to give the understanding and tools to allow them to change. That is why I have done my Get Unstuck! workshop at the Valley State Prison for Women in Chowchilla, California. (The largest women’s prison in the world) The response was wonderful. The last workshop had 150 attendees. Here are some of the comments I received after the workshop:
“I feel that this has tons to offer. It helped me with self-awareness, and gave me insight into the “why” of some of my behaviors, as well as providing tools to change some of the negative ones.”
“What I got out of Get Unstuck! is change starts with me. If I change myself, I change the world.”
“I came to understand that I have a choice whether or not I allow someone else’s negative behavior, dictate my behavior.”
“Thank you for helping me out of my rut.”
I have seen the transformative power of this information. I am currently working on producing a documentary to show the need for more rehabilitation for inmates, and how this information can help change the system. This is a costly undertaking and that is why I created the “Adopt an Inmate” program.
I’m asking each person that receives this letter to join in this mission. My goal is to get each inmate a copy of the book Get Unstuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life. To this end, I’m asking every person that reads this to invest a minimum of $25 and send an inmate their own copy of the book. In addition, you will also receive your own copy. And as a special thank you, I will also include a free 1 hour coaching session for each pledge. If you already have a copy, you may designate both copies be sent to the prison.
If you wish, you may include a message to the inmate that will be inscribed in the book! Just e-mail me what message you want to include.
You may pledge more and for each $25 another 2 books will be sent. You may choose a specific inmate of any prison that you wish, and it will be sent to them. Please specify the name and address of each inmate you wish to receive the book. Please know that as one inmate stated, “Everyone in the prison needs this information.” We are all connected, and when we help the least in the world, we help ourselves! Be generous. Help to change the lives of the forgotten, and watch the world change. A portion of the proceeds will be to produce the documentary.
Whether you can or can't personally afford to help, please pass this on to others that can. Offer others the chance to give.
Thank you for helping to change the world.
To make your pledge, just click on the link below. All major credit cards are welcome.
http://www.getunstuck.com/adoptaninmate.html
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