Seven things to keep you from falling into the Holiday Blues
Each holiday season there is an expectation from people to reconnect with friends and loved ones. But what if your family is far away, or you don’t have people to reconnect with? Being alone during the holidays is often something that people don’t prepare for and find themselves depressed, and in the extreme, suicidal. It’s important to prepare in advance to keep the blues away. If you know that you’ll be alone, there are things to do to make the holidays merry.
Plan a group activity to invite others to do, so you will have others to share time with during the holidays. Perhaps a support group for others that are alone too!
Volunteer doing something for helping others. There is a lot of need to help less fortunate during the holidays, including delivering food to shut-ins, soup kitchens, helping at hospitals to cheer up patients, etc. Giving is a great way to feel better about yourself, and you meet others who are volunteering, and make new friends who are giving too.
Plan a trip or vacation for the holidays. Group trips doing something that you enjoy, like scuba diving, antiques, cruising, etc., are available through travel agents or on the web.
Get more active in a church or local community. Often holidays are a great time to reconnect to a community. There often are holiday events like plays, singing, charity parties or auctions, etc. sponsored by churches or communities.
See a professional therapist to help you to work through any issues that may be keeping you from experiencing the happiness you desire. Often your feelings that you repress all year come up during times when extra stress come up, often during the holidays. So do yourself a favor, seek some professional help to release the emotional baggage you’ve been carrying. Your whole life will improve.
Talk to people. Talk to your family. Talk to your friends. Do it regularly. Look up old friends. Heal old relationships. It’s good for your heart and soul to do that, anytime, but especially around the holidays. Remember they might need to heal that issue too. You don’t have guarantees that friendships will be rekindled, or relationships healed, but you never know how it might affect your life positively either. Holidays are a time to heal. Take advantage of that.
Remember that regrets are usually from things you didn’t do. Use the holidays to create something different in your life. Einstein said “To continue doing the same thing, expecting different results, is insanity.” If you want different results, do something different. Believe that you can change your life. Believe it can be better. Know miracles happen. If you believe in a higher power, pray for the change you want. Be willing to give up what you have now, and know it will be better. Remember, in order to become a butterfly, you have to give up being a caterpillar. ~ John Seeley M.A. Best-selling Author of Get Unstuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life www.getunstuck.com
Friday, December 26, 2008
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Finding Your Dreams by Leaving Your Comfort Zone
Finding Your Dreams by Leaving Your Comfort Zone by John Seeley M.A., Life Coach
What do you desire that you don’t have now? A new job? A new Relationship? A new home? Make a list of all the things you want in every category you can think of. Everything you desire that you don’t have, is outside of your comfort zone. Do you want to release some weight or be in better shape? If you do, then you just got your answer on how to find everything else on your list. Einstein said, “To continue doing the same thing expecting different results is insanity.” The implication is if you want different results you have to do something different.
That where most people stop. They either feel that they can’t change, or they come up with reasons not to change. Either way nothing new happens. Change is scary for many people. Men might not admit it but it scares them too. Change usually represents the unknown. Fear of the unknown is a big cause of stuckness.If we can recognize the fear and push through it, we usually find that whatever we were afraid of isn’t as bad as we thought. Sometimes it’s not only pleasant but down right exciting!
Change happens instantly. Deciding to change usually takes time, sometimes years. The easiest way to change is the baby step process. Set your goal, but then break it down to very small, and very doable tasks. Begin by choosing something you can definitely complete today. It could be as easy as looking up a phone number. You don’t even have to place the call. Just look up the number. You may find that you will place the call, but the goal was only to look up the number. When you complete your small goal, you are retraining your sub-conscious mind to work with you. Since the majority of our lives are run by our sub-conscious mind, it’s best to get it to align itself with our conscious mind.
Sometimes we don’t want to choose for fear we might make a mistake. Not choosing is a choice. It’s another way we stay stuck. Procrastination is putting off the inevitable which usually makes it worse. Why not empower yourself by taking the time to evaluate your choices, choose the best one, and take action. If it’s something that involves something unpleasant, why not get it out of the way, which allows the healing to begin to take place.
Sometimes it helps if you have support while going though your changes. So build a support team. Find people that will be supportive of the changes you want to make. Often times the people closest to you are actually the ones that oppose you changing. So be careful who you choose. A professional has your best interest at heart. Whether a coach, a trainer, a therapist or a friend or family member, be sure they know how you want to be supported. We each like support in our own way. Once you have a plan and a support system in place, dip your toe in the water outside your comfort zone and see what you find. Chances are you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
In his new book "Get UnStuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life" John Seeley offers powerful, yet simple, techniques that are able to move you past any rut you may be stuck in. This is certainly a self-help book for any obstacle, in any facet of your life. Bonus gifts with purchase today, including one from me! :-) All the info here:Get UnStuck!
What do you desire that you don’t have now? A new job? A new Relationship? A new home? Make a list of all the things you want in every category you can think of. Everything you desire that you don’t have, is outside of your comfort zone. Do you want to release some weight or be in better shape? If you do, then you just got your answer on how to find everything else on your list. Einstein said, “To continue doing the same thing expecting different results is insanity.” The implication is if you want different results you have to do something different.
That where most people stop. They either feel that they can’t change, or they come up with reasons not to change. Either way nothing new happens. Change is scary for many people. Men might not admit it but it scares them too. Change usually represents the unknown. Fear of the unknown is a big cause of stuckness.If we can recognize the fear and push through it, we usually find that whatever we were afraid of isn’t as bad as we thought. Sometimes it’s not only pleasant but down right exciting!
Change happens instantly. Deciding to change usually takes time, sometimes years. The easiest way to change is the baby step process. Set your goal, but then break it down to very small, and very doable tasks. Begin by choosing something you can definitely complete today. It could be as easy as looking up a phone number. You don’t even have to place the call. Just look up the number. You may find that you will place the call, but the goal was only to look up the number. When you complete your small goal, you are retraining your sub-conscious mind to work with you. Since the majority of our lives are run by our sub-conscious mind, it’s best to get it to align itself with our conscious mind.
Sometimes we don’t want to choose for fear we might make a mistake. Not choosing is a choice. It’s another way we stay stuck. Procrastination is putting off the inevitable which usually makes it worse. Why not empower yourself by taking the time to evaluate your choices, choose the best one, and take action. If it’s something that involves something unpleasant, why not get it out of the way, which allows the healing to begin to take place.
Sometimes it helps if you have support while going though your changes. So build a support team. Find people that will be supportive of the changes you want to make. Often times the people closest to you are actually the ones that oppose you changing. So be careful who you choose. A professional has your best interest at heart. Whether a coach, a trainer, a therapist or a friend or family member, be sure they know how you want to be supported. We each like support in our own way. Once you have a plan and a support system in place, dip your toe in the water outside your comfort zone and see what you find. Chances are you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
In his new book "Get UnStuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life" John Seeley offers powerful, yet simple, techniques that are able to move you past any rut you may be stuck in. This is certainly a self-help book for any obstacle, in any facet of your life. Bonus gifts with purchase today, including one from me! :-) All the info here:Get UnStuck!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Life Coaching from the Get Unstuck book, endorsed by Deepak Chopra
Changing Your Life
“To continue doing the same thing and expecting different results is insanity.” –Albert Einstein
Change happens instantly! Deciding to change usually takes some time—sometimes years. When your life isn’t going the way you want or expect, it’s time to change. People change all the time; sometimes it’s for the better, sometimes not. Occasionally we resist change because what we have now is familiar and comfortable. It may not be exactly what you want, but it’s not the worst thing in the world. Sometimes you want to change, but you don’t know how. Sometimes you just feel stuck in a rut. When you reach a place of frustration and hopelessness regarding a problem, that’s the time to reach out for help. Perhaps you just need reinforcement. Asking for help for some people represents failure.
Do you tell yourself, “I couldn’t do it on my own, so I’m a failure?” On the other hand, maybe you say, “If I have to ask for help, there must be something wrong with me.”
The truth is, asking for help is many times the best thing you can do. The problem is, sometimes you might feel like you don’t deserve help or, worse yet, there is no chance of helping you. That’s when you have to reach out. There’s always help, and sometimes you’re just too close to the picture to see it. Sometimes you “think” you can see your situation accurately, and you conclude there’s no way you can be helped, but your conclusion is wrong. No matter what, there’s help!
One of the keys to understanding, is knowing you matter. As long as you believe you matter, you will find a way out. I’m speaking from experience in this area. I’ve been diagnosed as clinically depressed. I wasn’t locked up in a “loony bin,” but I needed professional help. My story is like many other people. In my case, it started with what I call my “worst year.” I was fired twice in six months. That was quite a shock to me. I had never been fired before, much less twice! I didn’t know that in the restaurant field, there is a lot of turnover as part of the normal business cycle. I could have taken this as a signal that maybe I should look at another career. I wish I had! Instead, I read my firings as a message that I must not be “good enough.”
I did not expect what came next. My best friend committed suicide, and I was the one who found him. This really tipped my world upside down. Shortly thereafter, my dog died. What more could happen? I became so depressed that I was very defensive with the people around me. I was angry and frustrated. I felt helpless. Worse, I didn’t know why all this was happening. I lashed out verbally when I felt I was being attacked, even when no one was attacking me. Because of this, I lost my fiancé. I took another job in the hope of saving the relationship, not to mention to help my self-esteem. Again, due to my defensiveness, I lost that job too. This was another validation that I was a “loser.” Years later, I was still in denial about the reality of the situation. In fact, I used to ... to read more click here:http://www.getunstuck.com/
“To continue doing the same thing and expecting different results is insanity.” –Albert Einstein
Change happens instantly! Deciding to change usually takes some time—sometimes years. When your life isn’t going the way you want or expect, it’s time to change. People change all the time; sometimes it’s for the better, sometimes not. Occasionally we resist change because what we have now is familiar and comfortable. It may not be exactly what you want, but it’s not the worst thing in the world. Sometimes you want to change, but you don’t know how. Sometimes you just feel stuck in a rut. When you reach a place of frustration and hopelessness regarding a problem, that’s the time to reach out for help. Perhaps you just need reinforcement. Asking for help for some people represents failure.
Do you tell yourself, “I couldn’t do it on my own, so I’m a failure?” On the other hand, maybe you say, “If I have to ask for help, there must be something wrong with me.”
The truth is, asking for help is many times the best thing you can do. The problem is, sometimes you might feel like you don’t deserve help or, worse yet, there is no chance of helping you. That’s when you have to reach out. There’s always help, and sometimes you’re just too close to the picture to see it. Sometimes you “think” you can see your situation accurately, and you conclude there’s no way you can be helped, but your conclusion is wrong. No matter what, there’s help!
One of the keys to understanding, is knowing you matter. As long as you believe you matter, you will find a way out. I’m speaking from experience in this area. I’ve been diagnosed as clinically depressed. I wasn’t locked up in a “loony bin,” but I needed professional help. My story is like many other people. In my case, it started with what I call my “worst year.” I was fired twice in six months. That was quite a shock to me. I had never been fired before, much less twice! I didn’t know that in the restaurant field, there is a lot of turnover as part of the normal business cycle. I could have taken this as a signal that maybe I should look at another career. I wish I had! Instead, I read my firings as a message that I must not be “good enough.”
I did not expect what came next. My best friend committed suicide, and I was the one who found him. This really tipped my world upside down. Shortly thereafter, my dog died. What more could happen? I became so depressed that I was very defensive with the people around me. I was angry and frustrated. I felt helpless. Worse, I didn’t know why all this was happening. I lashed out verbally when I felt I was being attacked, even when no one was attacking me. Because of this, I lost my fiancé. I took another job in the hope of saving the relationship, not to mention to help my self-esteem. Again, due to my defensiveness, I lost that job too. This was another validation that I was a “loser.” Years later, I was still in denial about the reality of the situation. In fact, I used to ... to read more click here:http://www.getunstuck.com/
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